I’m still in the same house, in the same relationship, the same job, the sun comes up every morning but somehow people say I’ve changed. How did that shift take place?
The ‘how’ is like a wave being formed. The moon and the sun cause pressure on the ocean. This pressure makes the wave travel the depths of the ocean mostly unseen until it reaches the shallows of land, it rises up and crashes onto the shore. We hear it, we see it.
Our emotional state can be portrayed in the same way. We are at the effect of our sun and moon, our father and mother. Based on our parents ability to love unconditionally, during our most innocent state, the feeling of being unloved, unsafe or unwanted can bring up a pressure to fill that very need. Which emotions were we able to express, which ones not? What did we do with the ones we felt unsafe to communicate? Did we swallow them?
The emotions we feel okay to express are like the small waves we see on the ocean surface, they come and go with no real energy. We make them okay. On the other hand, we suppress the emotions we perceive as negative or wrong. And the perception of these emotions being wrong gives them more weight, more pressure. The pressure applied by the Sun and the Moon may no longer be there as adults, but we continue to make those emotions wrong perpetuating the original conditional thought.
Any suppressed emotional energy needs to come out, and it does. We can't hold back the Ocean. It takes up all our energy to suppress it, eventually it exhausts us. We become unhappy and frustrated. As the pressure to suppress adds weight and momentum to the wave, the wave travels towards the shore of expression to release the tension.
When this emotional wave hits the shore of expression it crashes, it tumbles in turmoil, it makes a lot of noise. We see ourselves out of ourselves. We see the over expressed emotional explosion and it feels unstoppable, uncontrollable. And this feeds our initial unconscious thought that it’s not okay to express this emotion. The outburst of emotional energy hurts those around us and ourselves. And just because we had an emotional release, we often feel a sense of peace, almost euphoria. We see the relative calm of life’s flow.
The cycle of emotional suppression starts again.
A good way to shift this emotional energy is by realising that all emotions are equal. None of them are right or wrong, they just are. Just because we weren’t shown how to express and emotion in a loving way for us and the people around us, it doesn’t mean we cannot learn how to now. Through the process of breathwork, learning to express our emotions is a priority. Towards that end, our wise body shows us the way.
Our relationships, our jobs, our house may remain the same but somehow something has shifted. The energy I once put into suppressing my emotional energy I now have spear to do more of the things I love.
So nothing may changes, I just become more myself.